La Lucha Libre Etiquette

Last night marked my first foray back into the world of professional wrestling. While I can't completely feign ignorance of the oft considered white trash sport (yes, I watched Raw and Smackdown in Middle School...yes...I was verging on obsessive) it had been a number of years since I fully took in the spectacle of two waxed men in singlets grappling one another. Let me say this: It's probably one of the most macho things I can ever consider myself to be apart of, and really freaking sweet. A number of students from the group studying Spanish here attended last nights match at the Queretaro Arena. Funny, the arena from the outside looks more like the Wow Hall in Eugene, and from the inside looks like a dingy version of a high school gym. The point I'm getting at is that I doubt it will be hosting U2 the next time they pass through on World Tour, but it hosted nicely for the Luchadores and the ever popular Dr. Wagner.

I arrived a little late with a few people I've met through the program and picked a rail around the top to initially take in the acting and acrobatics. The wrestling here has a lot more stunts involving jumping off the turnbuckles and in and out of the ring, and on multiple occasions people in the crowd either caught or were suddenly blind-sided by a sweaty 300 lb masked man who was thrown from the ring into the first 3 rows. I quickly found myself invested in the luchador in red and was hurling insults at his opponent shortly after entering the arena. Markus gave me a few looks of bewilderment but fell along with me in yelling when I pointed out that the woman a row in front of me, the one chain smoking and verbally accosting the luchadors, was simply translating my rugged English into its Spanish counterpart. I apparently have terrible luck picking luchadores (much like my terrible luck with directions and gambling) and red suffered the most embarrassing defeat possible in the wide world of La Lucha Libre when his opponent ripped off his mask, revealing his face for the crowd to see. The grown man who I had just seen chop blocking and suplexing like a pro was quickly desecrated to nothing more than a whimpering crying 250 lb baby as he begged for his mask back.

The de-masking ended the match and Mexican women wearing small bikini´s crossed the ring with signs declaring round number. I'm convinced no one actually pays attention to what the sign says, it could easily read "You are all pigs" and the guys in the crowd would hoot and holler just as loud if not louder. At this point the three of us who came together spotted our party and walked around the other side to sit down with the very obvious group of gringos.

There was now one match left before the main event and I myself was getting very excited. I picked a luchador in black and quickly began my verbal beat down of his green singlet wearing opponent. About half way through the match a small child a row in front of me and a few seats down turned around and in perfect English said: "God, you are annoying! Shut up!" I was shocked. Everything I had invested in this match was suddenly stifled by the judgement of one 12 year old boy. In response to his behavior his father gave him a high five and I quickly realized that I was far from being a legitimate lucha libre enthusiast. It dawned me on at that point that, really, no one was cheering as loud as I was, and everyone was laughing at me. I was like the drunk guy at a concert that really digs the opening band when everyone else wants them to finish their set and get the hell off the stage. After realizing I was actually a terrible spectator, and fielding nasty looks from buzz kills mother for the next 20 minutes, I was happy to move farther away from them before the final match. I found that during those 20 minutes of awkward embarrassment, wrestling is really ridiculous if you are not screaming your head off.

Doctor Wagner took the stage to much pomp and circumstance and the crowd went absolutely berserk. Things got a little weird when a woman with only one leg was passed through the ropes and Wagner carried her around on stage while people took pictures. I just figured it was the equivalent of Make a Wish Foundation, but was in general agreement when another student in our program pointed out there are millions of disabled Mexicans that don't even receive the benefit of ramps into most public buildings. Anyways, the match was entertaining and despite getting his butt kicked the entire contest Doctor Wagner came out victorious and the crowd went wild. I went looking for a taxi and made it home about a half hour later. I watched a telenovela called El Fuego en La sangria, or something like that (think really corny Mexican soap opera) and fell asleep with thoughts of Mexican fruits and vegetables dancing among my thoughts.

I unfortunately still forgot what the words for peas and watermelon were in Spanish on my quiz today. Anyways, more later. I'm off on Friday to visit Michoacan and will be gone until Sunday afternoon. Hopefully I'll post pictures sometime in the near future...for your viewing pleasure.